A couple of days last week, I was experiencing really bad anxiety.

You ever notice yourself having irrational thoughts and knowing that they're irrational but not being able to logic or reason your way out of them?

That was me.

To help manage it, I went on a prayer walk... well, multiple walks.

I think part of it had to do with not getting enough sleep due to homecoming week at our hybrid school and a couple of late nights thanks to basketball tryouts for our youngest...

And part of it has to do with the normal emotional roller coaster of getting older. 

I turn 50 in less than two weeks. It's still young if you ask me, but I feel like my life is flying by. 

And, ya know, life itself...

I feel an obligation to my family as a father and husband...

I feel an obligation to my business...

I feel an obligation to my clients since they depend on me to help them with their bodies, minds, and lives...

I feel an obligation to my future clients since they depend on me to help them escape diet prison and self-sabotage they've been in due to years of stress and frustration from fad diets and programs that don't work.

Running a small business is hard.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that.. just keeping it real.

Some days I feel like it's the greatest gift in the world. I don't see myself getting up at 4AM for a corporate job, that's for sure...

And other days I feel like I'm never going to "make it" since I refuse to jump on the miracle fixes bandwagon.

Anxiety = uncertainty x powerlessness

The more uncertain you feel, the more out of control you feel... the more anxiety you feel.

A lot of people feel anxiety around their bodies, which is a sad reality.

Uncertain... I don't know how to create the results I want. I've tried and failed so many times so how can I be certain?

Powerlessness... I feel like I have no control. I've done everything "right" and I'm still not making progress.

I get it.

It's easy to focus on all the things you can't control.

It's easy to think about the uncertainty of the future.

Even when we think we've got it all figured out, life has a way of reminding us that we don't.

And we never will.

We can only control the "controllables" and let the cards fall where they may.

That type of logic is all well and good but it's tough to keep things in perspective when you're in the middle of the emotional storm.

One of my friends from church asked me the other day, "How is it going?" and I told him, "It's good. It's chaotic at times, but good."

Sometimes I feel inadequate because I'm not helping as many people as I'd like.

Sometimes I feel like a failure because there are still so many people who choose not to work with me and continue to struggle on their own or spend money on quick fixes and programs that don't work.

In fact, someone told me earlier this year, "Well, I already spent $300 on this supplement so I might as well give it a shot before I try getting a coach".

Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have more to give.

It's a constant battle.

I don't have all the answers but I have learned a few things (mainly from praying).

I've learned that trying to figure out how to NOT have those emotions isn't the problem...

Because there is no way out. The only way out is through.

You just have to feel it.

As uncomfortable as it is.. just feel it.

I'll never forget my friend Tom for saying something like this when I went through a divorce 21+ years ago...

"We have to find that balance of letting Mike go through this and making him get out and do stuff."

And be grateful for the ability to feel...

Because if we felt nothing but greatness and comfort, how would we even notice the difference between that and feeling anxious and uncomfortable?

So, don't avoid it.

Can you write about it? 

Can you hit record on your phone's voice memo app and brain dump about it?

Can you talk to someone close to you about it?

Can you pray about it?

My process has been to:

• Prayer walks as needed (even if it's just 5 minutes). Sometimes, it's just the sound of the outdoors, while other times it's listening to my bible app (Psalms) on my headphones. 
   
• Gratitude journal first thing in the morning - writing down at least one thing I'm grateful for from the previous day. This helps me keep a perspective of gratefulness.

And today... well, apparently I'm writing about it and sharing it with you. 

In hopes that you're reminded you're not alone if you ever feel anxious on the other side of the screen.

That no matter where you are in the world or how different our situations may be (or similar)...

You are not alone.

I am not alone.

We are not alone.

I'm reminded that I've been through tough circumstances and I persevered through it as I leaned on God and I know I'll go through tough circumstances again.

If you ever need someone to pray for you or even someone just to vent to, I got you.

I'll read every single reply.

No fat loss hacks or mindset hacks or pearls of wisdom related to your fitness and nutrition journey, today (my bad). 

Just me sharing some stuff I've been going through...

I'm going to allow myself to feel it. 

I'm going to focus on what I can control. 

I'm going to do things that I know make me feel better like walking, prayer, lifting weights, spending some quality time with my family (and telling our boys terrible Dad jokes). 

And I hope you do the same.

We got this.

Have a great rest of your week,
Mikey